Punkin Chunkin
Punkin Chunkin happens when a bunch of teams of people get together in a field and lob pumpkins into the distance using a variety of means of propulsion. The team whose pumpkin travels farthest (regardless of means) gets the trophy below,
All teams name their machines and some have painted mascots. Team Morgana, below, named themselves after King Arthur's nemesis -- King Arthur being the name of another team. King Arthur is not pictured.
Team Onager has a Roman Legionnaire.
Punkin Chunkin takes place in many states, but the championship takes place in Delaware. There is a sideshow carnival-type-thing with fried goods, Midway-style amusements, local crafts and a cheerful bouncy dinosaur.
Centrifugal machines fire pumpkins as you might imagine. Whereas catapults' and air guns' violent motions, magical clouds of vapor and wham-bam army noises to announce the deployment of the gourds, centrifugal machines sound like a blown-up lawn mowers and the pumpkin leaves relatively unannounced, the sound of the belt unclasping far too soft to hear over the hum of the arm spinning.
Air guns are big and loud and generally fire the pumpkins too fast and far to see. We were not at the show five minutes before we heard our first cracks from one of the torsion teams regarding the needle-dick-ness of the air gun crews. Bad Hair Day, below, is fielded by a team of women. They do not fall under the needle-dick heading, I suppose.
Appropriate safety attire is required for all crew members.
To this day, I have no idea what a hard hat is supposed to accomplish. Should it deflect the thing that's hitting you? Should it shatter and dissipate the force of impact? Is it like border security legislation?
This is Fat Jimmy. He's a super nice guy. He's wearing a costume and name tag reading "Fat Jimmy/Queen Is A Fella." He rode up on this motor bike and was summarily molested by a young lady (not pictured) who grabbed his plush, ample bosom and held it to her tongue. Jimmy was at the event with his daughter, who was not seen after the events described, nor could she be reached for comment.*
In conclusion, Delaware is a land of many contrasts.
*I did not try to contact her.
All teams name their machines and some have painted mascots. Team Morgana, below, named themselves after King Arthur's nemesis -- King Arthur being the name of another team. King Arthur is not pictured.
Team Onager has a Roman Legionnaire.
Punkin Chunkin takes place in many states, but the championship takes place in Delaware. There is a sideshow carnival-type-thing with fried goods, Midway-style amusements, local crafts and a cheerful bouncy dinosaur.
Centrifugal machines fire pumpkins as you might imagine. Whereas catapults' and air guns' violent motions, magical clouds of vapor and wham-bam army noises to announce the deployment of the gourds, centrifugal machines sound like a blown-up lawn mowers and the pumpkin leaves relatively unannounced, the sound of the belt unclasping far too soft to hear over the hum of the arm spinning.
Air guns are big and loud and generally fire the pumpkins too fast and far to see. We were not at the show five minutes before we heard our first cracks from one of the torsion teams regarding the needle-dick-ness of the air gun crews. Bad Hair Day, below, is fielded by a team of women. They do not fall under the needle-dick heading, I suppose.
Appropriate safety attire is required for all crew members.
To this day, I have no idea what a hard hat is supposed to accomplish. Should it deflect the thing that's hitting you? Should it shatter and dissipate the force of impact? Is it like border security legislation?
This is Fat Jimmy. He's a super nice guy. He's wearing a costume and name tag reading "Fat Jimmy/Queen Is A Fella." He rode up on this motor bike and was summarily molested by a young lady (not pictured) who grabbed his plush, ample bosom and held it to her tongue. Jimmy was at the event with his daughter, who was not seen after the events described, nor could she be reached for comment.*
In conclusion, Delaware is a land of many contrasts.
*I did not try to contact her.
Labels: air guns, cross dressing, delaware, needle dicks, punkin chunkin, safety, squash, wierd, work
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