The Way That I Rhyme

There's not much to say about this set from Darkside Haunted House -- it speaks for itself, I think. I will add that it was one of those jobs you're happy to take just because the situation is so weird that it becomes a crime NOT to take it. There's a Disneyland-style line-maze that serves to pace attendance and allows guests cycle through and experience a series of terrors. One such section featured a series of hillbilly-Deliverance-style vignettes. Our host and guide said, dryly, "Guess what our theme was last year?"

This comment reminded me of one of my cleverer moments, if I do say so myself. Back in college one of my video professors was a heavy in the early Experimental Video, Queercore and Riot Grrl scenes in the 80's and 90's (and was even namedropped in Le Tigre's "Hot Topic") and she and I would frequently butt heads over this and that. For example, she would accuse me of misogyny and in turn I would make my work more misogynistic because... well... wouldn't you?

Anyway, a few years after we graduated George and I went back to talk to some of our more beloved professors and in the course of conversation asked what Cecilia was up to.

Professor: "I'm not sure. Last I heard she was in Ireland working on a horror film."

Me: "You mean, like, slasher-horror or the horrors of gender relations...?"

Professor: "..."

So I never got a good answer, and I suspect I was right.

Throwback Image Sunday

Bill has been my #1 photographic fallback since college -- good for tips and tricks and moral support -- and we still keep in touch even after he moved to New Mexico and got married. Early on, I stole most of his lighting setups through casual observation and passive aggressive interviewing of the "Oh... hey, I didn't know you were working. Gee, I like your key. Why is it there?" variety. His sense of humor might be dryer than mine, though it's subject to debate amongst no one in particular. He is consistently employed and making a well-deserved living either because of, or in spite of, his choice to move to a shifty market.

He lives on the internets here: billstengel.com

And on Flickr here: xthebillx

The First Of Three Candy Reviews

INT. MOVIE THEATER, NIGHT.

Richard and Dom wait in their SEATS for "The Darjeeling Limited" to begin. Richard reaches into his AWESOME BLACK BAG to produce THREE CANDY BARS of mysterious origin.

(dramatically)
RICH: I told you I was bringing snacks, so I have three candies to choose from. I brought them from Sweden.
(handing them one by one to Dom)
We have "Daim"...

(excited)
DOM: DAAAAAAAAAIM!

RICH: Exactly. We have "Plopp"...

(laughing)
DOM: Delicious.

RICH: Precisely. And we have "Japp"...

(slowly)
DOM: Oh. My. God.

RICH: Yeah that one's a personal favorite. Anyway, you choose which one we are to review.

(thoughtfully)
DOM: Let's go with "Daim."

RICH: Great. Looking at the wrapper now,
(gesturing to the label)
and judging by the explode-y bits coming from behind the lettering it seems like it's a toffee of some sort.

She picks up the candy bar and examines it more closely.

DOM: You're probably right. Looking at the wrapper now it also seems to be made by the good people at the KRAFT company.

(deflated)
RICH: What?

(pointing to the BOLD KRAFT LABEL on the back)
DOM: See.

RICH: So I brought a KRAFT-brand candy bar all the way from Sweden?

DOM: Apparently.

(dejectedly)
RICH: Jesus H. Christ on the cross...

DOM: Which are the candy bars with the toffee in them?

RICH: Heath Bars...

DOM: No, no, the other ones...

RICH: Skoal... no, that's the tobacco. Um... Scor!

DOM: Yeah! I bet it's like that.

She begins to rip open the wrapper and pauses.

DOM: Oh, are we saving the wrapper?

RICH: No, I shot them all already.

(continuing to open the wrapper)
DOM: Oh good.

They crack the bar into smaller segments for sharing and easy-eating. They both taste. The toffee is crisp and pleasantly caramel while the milk chocolate coating is gritty and unextraordinary. A serviceable candy bar.

RICH: So it's almost exactly like a Heath Bar.

DOM: Or a Skoal...

RICH: Skor...

DOM: Skor Bar...

RICH: They all taste the same.

DOM: Yeah. Yeah, they do.

RICH: Well this is a letdown.

DOM: It's good though!

RICH: It's pretty good. Heath Bars are my favorite.
(pausing)
Chocolate's a bit "bleh" though.

DOM: (nods)

(to himself)
RICH: The chocolate might have melted here or there because of transit though.

The LIGHTS in the theater begin to dim and the other MOVIEGOERS begin to hush each other and buckle down for viewing

DOM: Movie's starting.

END

Danielle's Gonna Have My Legs Broke For This

D: "...and these are going to all end up on the internet, right?"

R: "Probably."

I'm working on some publicity stills for the Hidden People (see previous entry) and got to bring in Danielle to assist in keeping my head straight, which is as difficult as you can imagine, and to help fly in lights for the location stuff (examples to come). Having someone on set who's better than you but is comfortable in letting you believe the opposite is very, VERY important.

Of course, aside from coffee fetching (not in a subservient way, but in a liberated, choose-to-do-it way), the assistant(s)' primary role is to stand in when the Photographer needs to see how badly he screwed up with the lighting (in this instance, a unit was not turned on). Furthermore, it is a happy coincidence when the Photographer has someone he's never succeeded in photographing assisting him. We've known each other for years and years at this point (it was quite a handshake) and have always seemed to be watching each others' work from parallel paths. Along with Bill Stengel (future Throwback Image Sunday candidate), she's my point person for all my tech talk and gear-head-wonkiness. I claim "Superfan 99" status.

Her home on the Internets is here:

Daniellestingu.com

If You And Your Friends Are In The Dark, You Are Hidden People.

I have to say, while I love all my friends' bands (here, Hidden People), I really, REALLY wish they'd play venues with grown up lighting design instead of, say, fucking Christmas lights (see below).



I'd much rather shoot ambient without having to ramp up the ASA all the way and open all the way wide. Fun things happen when you have enough light to shoot with without augmenting.