Multiple Post Day (Pt. 1)

I'm back from Pennsylvania (at the Cannondale Plant) and Delaware (at the Dogfish Head Brewery). Not much to say about that other than we escaped from Delaware by boat (see above), which I would like to believe lent a certain prison-escape-ambiance to the end of the trip. Obviously I am delusional and tired.

Dogfish Head beer has, shall we say, certain alcoholic properties that are above and beyond most beers. I like to drink beer and became confused and disoriented after having no more than my regular serving of said liquid. Also, they sponsored one of the Punkin Guns from last season, giving me another chance to be self-referential on this blog. Oh well. Cannondale Bikes were pretty neat, but it was an odoriferous tour and shoot and everything was loud and squealy or windowless and air-tight so it made for a clammy, sweaty affair.

Upon my return, I shot the Handful (links down there somewhere. You know who they are at this point) and Starscream and Radiates at their (the Handful's) insistence. This proved to be a strong call.

Double reminder: ANTIMAGIC TONIGHT

Antimagic, at the Knitting Factory, 8PM. Be there, be square.

Punkin Chunkin

Punkin Chunkin happens when a bunch of teams of people get together in a field and lob pumpkins into the distance using a variety of means of propulsion. The team whose pumpkin travels farthest (regardless of means) gets the trophy below,



All teams name their machines and some have painted mascots. Team Morgana, below, named themselves after King Arthur's nemesis -- King Arthur being the name of another team. King Arthur is not pictured.



Team Onager has a Roman Legionnaire.



Punkin Chunkin takes place in many states, but the championship takes place in Delaware. There is a sideshow carnival-type-thing with fried goods, Midway-style amusements, local crafts and a cheerful bouncy dinosaur.



Centrifugal machines fire pumpkins as you might imagine. Whereas catapults' and air guns' violent motions, magical clouds of vapor and wham-bam army noises to announce the deployment of the gourds, centrifugal machines sound like a blown-up lawn mowers and the pumpkin leaves relatively unannounced, the sound of the belt unclasping far too soft to hear over the hum of the arm spinning.



Air guns are big and loud and generally fire the pumpkins too fast and far to see. We were not at the show five minutes before we heard our first cracks from one of the torsion teams regarding the needle-dick-ness of the air gun crews. Bad Hair Day, below, is fielded by a team of women. They do not fall under the needle-dick heading, I suppose.



Appropriate safety attire is required for all crew members.



To this day, I have no idea what a hard hat is supposed to accomplish. Should it deflect the thing that's hitting you? Should it shatter and dissipate the force of impact? Is it like border security legislation?



This is Fat Jimmy. He's a super nice guy. He's wearing a costume and name tag reading "Fat Jimmy/Queen Is A Fella." He rode up on this motor bike and was summarily molested by a young lady (not pictured) who grabbed his plush, ample bosom and held it to her tongue. Jimmy was at the event with his daughter, who was not seen after the events described, nor could she be reached for comment.*



In conclusion, Delaware is a land of many contrasts.

*I did not try to contact her.