The First Of Three Candy Reviews

INT. MOVIE THEATER, NIGHT.

Richard and Dom wait in their SEATS for "The Darjeeling Limited" to begin. Richard reaches into his AWESOME BLACK BAG to produce THREE CANDY BARS of mysterious origin.

(dramatically)
RICH: I told you I was bringing snacks, so I have three candies to choose from. I brought them from Sweden.
(handing them one by one to Dom)
We have "Daim"...

(excited)
DOM: DAAAAAAAAAIM!

RICH: Exactly. We have "Plopp"...

(laughing)
DOM: Delicious.

RICH: Precisely. And we have "Japp"...

(slowly)
DOM: Oh. My. God.

RICH: Yeah that one's a personal favorite. Anyway, you choose which one we are to review.

(thoughtfully)
DOM: Let's go with "Daim."

RICH: Great. Looking at the wrapper now,
(gesturing to the label)
and judging by the explode-y bits coming from behind the lettering it seems like it's a toffee of some sort.

She picks up the candy bar and examines it more closely.

DOM: You're probably right. Looking at the wrapper now it also seems to be made by the good people at the KRAFT company.

(deflated)
RICH: What?

(pointing to the BOLD KRAFT LABEL on the back)
DOM: See.

RICH: So I brought a KRAFT-brand candy bar all the way from Sweden?

DOM: Apparently.

(dejectedly)
RICH: Jesus H. Christ on the cross...

DOM: Which are the candy bars with the toffee in them?

RICH: Heath Bars...

DOM: No, no, the other ones...

RICH: Skoal... no, that's the tobacco. Um... Scor!

DOM: Yeah! I bet it's like that.

She begins to rip open the wrapper and pauses.

DOM: Oh, are we saving the wrapper?

RICH: No, I shot them all already.

(continuing to open the wrapper)
DOM: Oh good.

They crack the bar into smaller segments for sharing and easy-eating. They both taste. The toffee is crisp and pleasantly caramel while the milk chocolate coating is gritty and unextraordinary. A serviceable candy bar.

RICH: So it's almost exactly like a Heath Bar.

DOM: Or a Skoal...

RICH: Skor...

DOM: Skor Bar...

RICH: They all taste the same.

DOM: Yeah. Yeah, they do.

RICH: Well this is a letdown.

DOM: It's good though!

RICH: It's pretty good. Heath Bars are my favorite.
(pausing)
Chocolate's a bit "bleh" though.

DOM: (nods)

(to himself)
RICH: The chocolate might have melted here or there because of transit though.

The LIGHTS in the theater begin to dim and the other MOVIEGOERS begin to hush each other and buckle down for viewing

DOM: Movie's starting.

END

Unhappiness Is An Invented Thing

Dominique



Dear Dom,

So sorry. You've become one of my favorite people to photograph. I should have warned you that this might happen.

--RG

Bad Things Happen In Threes

Dominique



I've been on this kick for a while now, possibly just to make myself feel responsible when it comes to editing my stuff -- restrict it to a 3-image set. This gesture is empty and pointless and gets me into trouble when I do event coverage and I give the client three times as many selects as they really need... and they decide they want them all. Anyway, there are two more for this set on the Flickr site.

Back to the subject at hand -- I remember one of my professors (whose opinion I still trust) mentioning that one of my short films was 'shot spot-on, but... I don't know about your pouty friends in it.' Now in their defense I'll claim that it wasn't that my friends were particularly pouty but rather that I shot and directed them poorly. Then there are the subjects you can't direct, like this one, that you can wind up and let go.